A Secret of Life Revealed
40 year-old female, artist, mother of two

We finally found a night for the Adam experience. In no time I was carried into a different state of consciousness, very hard to put into words, certainly very different from an LSD experience. The main difference for me was that an LSD trip brings about a lot of mind-images, it seems -- there is more mind expansion or explosion; whereas Adam brings about this intrinsic, unique sensation of body-awareness where one floats in total bliss. This sensation of blissful floating was shown in my mind as energy-forming, expanding, contracting, breathing (one could say: breath as moving and life-giving) -- each slight movement creating a minute change in the energy field, made of what we call "love" in it's purest and truest form of existence. It was truly mindblowing, awesome, a secret of life revealed. This most unbelievable gentleness and sweetness we are! Thank you so much for this beautiful gift. There has been nothing like it, so real and so long-lasting (about nine hours), before in my life.

The sweetest sounds come out of me, following the movement of my outbreath. Again and again. So gentle. Such full and expanded in-and-out breaths. When I threw up, it was just like that, nothing but a natural action. It's true, though, that in the beginning, when it hit me, my partner took care of me beautifully, moving me from one place to the other. He felt me to be three times as heavy, whereas inside I felt light as light and without any resistance or weight, with only the sensation of my body giving me a natural feeling of boundaries.

Also, all levels of consciousness seemed to have slowed down tremendously and to have become one -- no separation whatsoever, inner and outer as one, no mental thought interfering, just communicating the experience of the moment, in a sense no past, no future, all simultaneously happening at once. Soul-talk. So simple, so beautiful, so poetic. My partner and I experienced each other in the fullest soul-sense. Whatever we would be doing -- talking, moving, looking, making love, being, it was real, as real as anyone can be. It was so easy to understand one another, so true, gentle, blissful.

What joy! I couldn't believe how simple life really is. If we didn't have our beliefs and thought-forms blocking us, we would constantly be in a state of fulfillment. Somehow the "I" (whatever it is -- it seemed full and empty at the same time) knew at every instant what it wanted or needed and expressed it, clearly and simply, with the sweetest voice and without hesitation, distrust, or disconnectedness. The "I" (Self) was just love and the mind served it most beautifully with clear, simple words.

Love is truly beyond words, and because it exists, everything else is created with it and through it. The question of the Will came up for me: who is willing here? Certainly it is not my personal will. If it is the universal will, or whatever, it's hard not to interfere with it through personal distortions in our normal state of consciousness. What an art it is to live life happily, creatively, with fulfillment. Most of all I want to remember how simple life really is.


§ Set: exploratory, relationship communion.
§ Setting: at home, with partner also on trip.
§ Catalyst: 300 mg MDMA.
Next Story: Clairvoyance and a Sense of Open Truth

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