I took 2CB alone, in order to explore my relationship, which had been marked by many arguments and bitter disagreements over the past year. During the session I talked with my partner in my mind, from the heart. I understood that one of our patterns was creating more and more separation between us.

She would mention a difference in our attitudes that disturbed her, for example that I was promiscuous I would respond by saying that I was "inclusive." Then, in our usual way of relating I would try to minimize, or smooth over, our differences in order to avoid an argument. I would argue that I could be monogamous if she wanted me to, that I had been so before, even with her, etc. All of this would only lead to another argument.

During the session I suddenly realized with emphatic conviction that I no longer needed nor wanted to play out that pattern. I no longer wanted to minimize or smooth over our differences. Instead I made a new commitment -- to myself. Since I loved her just the way she was I would accept the differences between us, indeed I would honor diem, respect them, and even celebrate them. The French phrase, "Vive la difference!" came to mind. I saw that in honoring our differences we could begin to search for common ground and build the relationship on those expansive areas of commonality. It is no longer necessary for the other to change in order for me to be myself.