I lie back and listen to music, feeling pulled to touch my heart (chest) with my hand. My hands begin dance-like movements in the air and suddenly I am hit, full front, with a chemical buzz and I see exquisite patterns of colored energy dancing against a dark background. I sense this energy, which will go wherever it is directed, it is indifferent to the outcome of what it serves.

It speaks to me: "The experiment is (essentially) over." I felt a wave of anguish and I prepare for sadness. It speaks again: "There's no sadness." I feel confusion. I report aloud, "There's no sadness." My guide speaks: "Not after a while." From him I feel compassion for us all....

I close my eyes again, to go beyond "energy." I feel (even now as I report) a deepening recognition of the larger picture: that there are "levels" or "states" at which it matters a great deal and there exists a vast well of feeling, but that the energy itself does indeed not care. But for the earth itself, and for that which created it, there will be grief that I cannot yet even begin to fathom, of gigantic proportion. I am reminded by my guide that we are indeed more than earthlings.

I am guided to allow myself to accept that creation, at least the human family, may be destroyed. Humans will, in this scenario, destroy themselves. This is a real (and perhaps realistic) possibility.

Yet, in accepting this, I see a path which branches off from this field of acceptance. And so we come to the beginning of the path I am now on: "God grant me the courage to change that which I can change, the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." This feels like phase I.

The next phase begins with a sense of "What can I do?" The guide clarifies that through acceptance I can lessen the grief of the impact of future outcomes. I can have a say in what happens by transforming my acceptance into an affirmation.

With great tenderness, the guide puts his hand on my heart center, leaves it resting there, and asks "How is your body?" He reminds me that this is an opportunity to heal the spirit AND mind AND body split -- not just mind/spirit or spirit/body or mind/body....

At that point I become aware that what I can do about the larger situation is allow, invite, surrender God into my own body. The God consciousness aches for and eagerly awaits this moment to enter me, as it longs to enter each of us, at any and every moment. I lay back and turn my palms upward. Without resistance I say "I sacrifice myself. Who is there? It is I. Who is there? It is I. Who is there? It is Thou."

Painlessly, and in silent ecstasy, that which has lived as my guest, my visitor, my "higher' self becomes part of my consciousness. We merge. No longer higher, it is now inner, merging with that which chose. The chooser becomes the chosen. The guide knows. He speaks of gods and goddesses with open eyes all over their bodies. Phase II ends here, with the glad marriage of myself and my Self.

In the third phase, I begin to relate this state to daily reality. Others. The network. Cultivate the network. Adam simply turns up the volume. It is all already so. I review my life from this heightened awareness. What is acceptable? Unsuitable?

My physical disorder -- I search inward and discover resistance to the physical plane. My guide encourages me to observe patterns in Nature and give birth to creative patterns of order. The phrase "the order that enables us" helps free my thinking. I remind myself that if I am becoming a home to the indwelling spirit, it will see out of my eyes, and it likes to see beauty, proportion, and harmony!

I realize that I can make agreements with myself in the Adam state, that I can recall them when in the non- Adam state, and that that can affect the non-Adam state. I proceed to ask for guidance and support in integrating these changes of habit into my life. I do intend to become a perfect temple for this God-consciousness. I plant the seeds of support in myself this day. Another agreement I make with myself is to let it shine, not to hide or be shy about this energy of the spirit that is infusing me.

Phase III continues in daily awareness, acknowledging what is unacceptable, and, with compassion, designing ways to clear the core -- yes, like a reed flute, so that the breath can pass through and be, if appropriate, music. Phase II continues also, since I choose and rechoose every day. And I dwell in Phase 1, the acceptance of that-which-I-cannot-change and from which action springs.

Final phase: manifest, receive, accept, create, share, allow, generate LOVE. It is the gravitational force of and for the spirit.

I had always felt unconscious of and therefore cut off from my own body. It's as if the part of me that lived such a full life was a visitor, who took no responsibility for the house in which it stays.

During the course of a single Adam session, I experienced a deep natural healing within myself. I re-owned my body. In the two weeks that have followed, I have observed specific behavioral changes in myself. These include: the ease with which I choose lighter, healthful foods, and no longer desire heavy, fatty foods; a definite increase in the grace with which I move; an instinctive desire for water with a marked increase in daily fluid intake; no desire for caffeine or alcohol. And for the first time in my life, I can feel myself consciously and lovingly aware of the body in which I live.

Return to Index